I wrote this last year when nothing in my life felt like it was making sense. I was enraged and at the same time was experiencing so much loss and grief. Sharing this now, from a very different mental space, serves as a refreshing reminder that even the most intense feelings can and will pass, if we only let them.

[TW: Violence] This story serves as a reminder you that none of us are just one thing, and that we’re all capable of more than we may think.

Everyone has their own favorite thing about Sundays: maybe it’s the sleeping in, the quiet, the slow brewing of a fresh cup of coffee and actually getting to sit and enjoy it.

I have my own giddy moment - it happens every week, and it might sound weird but, it’s a moment that fills me up with such joy: it’s when I take out the trash.

Let me explain.

This is a poem inspired by Tara Brach’s book, Radical Acceptance.

It’s about loving on your broken parts. And on those younger versions of you: the sad, scared, hurt, alone parts that at the end of the day, just need(ed) love and care.

When I met you a year and a half ago, I felt like I just barely survived the storm of my life. I’d gotten caught up in this rip current that took every last ounce of fight out of me.

I needed you to help me get back to shore.

A year ago, you wrote down a promise. You said: This is going to be the best year of my life. I guarantee it.

That sure seems bold for someone who has absolutely no idea and no control over what's going to happen over the course of a year, but you said the point wasn't to feel good. You said the point was to feel.

Well, we sure did that.

Here’s a story of how I found out what it’s like to really click with someone.

A story of the mountains of Big Sur, and all they taught me about myself.

I want to have a conversation with youWell, my body —My body really wants to have a conversation with youIt’s just got so much to sayAnd so much it wants to hear from your body, too.

The maintenance guy for my apartment died a few weeks ago. I don’t think I’m supposed to be sad. You’re allowed to grieve over losing a family member, a friend, or someone you worked closely with. Jonathan was just this guy I knew, and I didn't even really know him.

There's something special about the first snow. It forces you to dig back in your closet to find that old winter coat you haven't worn in months.

If home is a house
A yard for the dogs to play
For the chickens to roam
For the cats to explore and lie in the sun

If that's what a home is
My friends
Then I'm homeless.

Hey Lou,

I’m so sorry this year has been so rough on you.

It breaks my heart seeing you in pain. I know you just want to play and chase squirrels, and I’m the downer that’s always holding you back.

Heck, even on 3 legs and you’re still ready to go, go, go. So we’re going to go on this journey together, to get you back to being you. But I have to warn you, it’s going to suck for a bit, first.

I was pulled over by police the other day

Even though I'm a white girl, I was nervous and even stuttered a bit

I noticed myself consciously putting my keys on the dash and keeping my hands glued to the steering wheel

Even though it didn’t feel like I had to.

You and me both, kiddo. We're just here learning how to grow up.

Taking first steps can be scary. Crawling around on the ground is a lot more comfortable.

As soon as you start walking towards something, you realize all you're leaving behind. You don't know what's ahead. You don't know who you'll be when you get there.

Pay attention to what people say they’re grateful for.

Listen as they recite off their gratitude lists, the ones we’re all encouraged to think about this time of year.

The thing is, out of all those physical and non-physical things mentioned, you won’t hear much that makes the list that’s not something that a person has.

Find a book you can’t help but dive into. 

One that you want to read, but yet, some part of you also doesn’t, because you don’t want it to end.

One that makes you want to find all the 3-minute gaps of blank space in your day so you can get through one more page.

There are plenty of reasons to hold back from taking positive action.

And one of those reasons can be the fear that the idea that you have is a real winner. It’s actually a dangerous thought. Because then you hold on too tightly. You don’t let it out there for the world because it’s not ready. It’s not perfect yet. It has too much potential and you don’t want to squander it.

Procrastination’s got a bum rap. It has got to be one of the most overused yet misunderstood excuses there is.

Almost anytime someone’s not doing what they “should” be doing, we blame it on procrastination.

Most of the time there’s an underlying reason, or series of reasons, why one would procrastinate.